Archive for June, 2014

Chris Christie leaving Yankee stadium after the Boomer Esiason celEbrity benefit baseball game

June 30, 2014
Christie walking towards his car

Christie walking towards his car

Blah Blah Blah If You Cannot Take a Joke

June 17, 2014
  1. photo If you can’t take a joke you can get the bleep out of this blog it was an echo, which was not originating with you rather, it was emanating from behind Vacuous double entendres are a triple threat Here comes Ichabod Cranium Black ink ketchup allover the Marlboro Man who is now being dissected by Dr. Ruth as Jazz fusion with an Eastern European twist is played to cheap white wine drinkers at a converted IHOP I know my poetry my rhyme But I am an asshole Grown strong through terrifying moments of interdependence Happenstance, is not always a lap dance Clans of Rymans rhyming with Luc Tymans If we need one liners rewritten We can just depend on the arrest of Paul Simon This is the way this goes downtown Now I am not going to catch my breath to take a Cigarette, take a pan au chocolate at Paris baguette One should never forget that before there was GAGA There was the fashion and art orchid we like to call Colette but if you cannot take a Joke you can get the Fuck out of this blog I am not pulling the wool over anybody’s eyes But by now one would surmise that aesthetic morticians had franchised multiple alibis not limited to but including the sunrise You cannot say certain names this is just a game There is no one to blame But if you can’t take a joke you can get the Fuck out of this blog A run at the mill where released was a gleaming one hundred million dollar plus diamond encrusted skull A thirst for Hirst and Hirst things first Hirst things comes first and Hirst thinks first unitl something or someone or other goes bust or super yachts burst Are you going to take the fizz out of my piece of shit Was not the art of explanation re-mastered by some erstwhile corkscrew twisted Brit I am all for it But if you Cannot take a joke you can get the Fuck out this blog BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! painted the painter painted the painted on scrolls grates and canvas Blah blah blah said the poet blah blah blah collected the collector bah bah bah said not the polyresinous sheep herded into the auction house bah bah bah said the alcoholic lamb grazing guzzling fat check nuzzling Blah blah blah blogged the blogger If you can’t take a joke you can get the fuck out of my house and whose house is it anyway? And you can’t take it with you You think that you are friends with Chris Christie but you get the handcuffs He is a ham and that is why he became a proscuittocuter to begin with What’s your ping to that pong? Was it just vacuous non vacuuming vacuum cleaners All lit up and starring in the instillation he is such a great guy you don’t want to say anything not nice about him (or his work) no not him yes he is a jerk but if it all leaves you cold you are still going to grow old so do what your told or for you there will be no gold you cannot take it with you, giant balloon dogs wallpaper art virtual reality in the round amateur pornography a Titan’s iconography door to door debauchery vanity art on the selling floor sorcery
Play doh by Koons

Play doh by Koons

I want to punch back From inside of the punch-lines after reading the headlines while beating all deadlines BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! cannot be copied BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! CANNOT BE COPIED BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! Voluptuous Perignon Phallic Gallic Voluminous Perpignan He did it on porpoise She did it on a porpoise

He did it on porpoise She did it on a porpoise

He did it on porpoise
She did it on a porpoise

After all chasing around with the shark in the shark cage is nothing compared to the sharks who are sharking out here after all we have to save the dolphins with porpoise and all the porpoises ostensibly otherwise tensabarriers, weighted overhang bars, diving armor, spear-guns and becoming a submerged trophy hunter will never be enough to fight off thin linen wearing money men trading commodity in the form of abstract conception baby! inflatables are debatable Sandwiched in with what is non-equitable On the Road looking to find the next big bad art piece to get all upset over Schmutz: I say it is Schmutz! Schmutz, Schmutz, Schmutzie goodbye! Not since the advent of the first mixture of cream cheese with jelly! Not since the invention of cream cheese and jealousy! Its a tour speech in a garden which cannot be heard on the closed circuit microphone out amongst the surrounding flowers; tiger lilies or orange orchids but you go out to talk to Joan Rivers who is there all dressed up in black and white and that old comic killer Phyllis Diller and the artist Collette who would be emblematic of the blossom on many a night Thats because engine roaring i was motorcycling through a ring of fire in a previous stanza which disappeared to come back blazing within burning cliche language appropriated by plastic artists to exclaim a new proclamation on a variation of the very same thing Welcome to an art world or a world of art already filled with ready made victims and some victimizers ready with ready-mades or ready to make ready-mades Everybody ready, gentlemen start your search engines Inside the proverbial Trojan Horse A Chia Don’t kick a gift mount in the mouth Except that he is not my steed, Fetish objects, Are there any objections, to a fetish for objects insatiable for inflatables Goo-goo for marbles I will give you all the muster I can muster for luster and then I will give you some bluster Is there anything wrong with some solace with a fetish before committing a major crime? Object lessons in objectification Subject lessons in subjectification Where the subjects are subjects Subjectify my lust It all started with a plump posterior a round ass out in the suburbs whose curvatures would have been as if a dangerous road looking to handle turned around becomes an invitation to please You blindsided me with schmutz, Toots! Here comes the Rabbi, there came the Rabbi Back when it was even better than the real thing And years later he wanted to know Why Koons had to be so self-effeminizing But the congreagants purchased him a Pousette-Dart I should not have blown the way I did at you misdirecting rocket fire onto you from Gaza But then you got me with your words like we as if we had shared some long drunken evening @ the Plaza—- And now I am allover schmutz heralding some false biennialist Just because I got pissed and you had to find some way to take advantage of it Gem warfare its a Baby Jane Holdup  I am happy to be offended Out of shape bended To make sure that the never ending Has never really ended Dead vacuum cleaners play docents Save your life raft A slap from 100 percent pure crap One hundred percent pure crip one hundred percent pure blood the inflatables, the incredibles the never ending never endables If I can buy a visual spoof for 25 million and sell for 35 I am certainly game but if I get stuck with the lark there will certainly be someone else to blame Jeff loony Koons Claes Oldenburg and Coosie Von Bruggen’s looming spoon Balloon scriptures Another looming Koons My eyes lost in a sea of objects laid upon the sparking golden lame mardi gras tablecloth: lobster shell crackers, water glasses, antipasto platters, water glasses and so on and so forth Skull and balloons The sacred heart of Jesus The Sacred Heart which believes in us Yeezus! They’ll tell someone else to ban you from the house but still take you for a drink at the bar inside of it downstairs The ever changing face of commodities and their transfers therein In a pawn shop I have lots to offer for sale but gold coins turn to chocolate and get eaten so the only thing the house wants is the the endoscopy video screen and cam for which they are willing to pay $375 And in expecting this dreamer experienced subdued joy But when the recompense arrives it is but a single hundred dollar bill and ten tickets for a big bus lines double decker tour in London, England to which there are mot plans for me to fly-Ali Blah blah blah! It is the only problem I know of where the solution is ignorance


Book 2: What Matadors to you does not necessarily Matador to me Afrozen, a portrait artist says that you are fat and attempts to flip a commission Stop eating the Italian bread Or rainbow cookies in its stead Universal slut What that Matador was out the door Before David Bowie released the video for “Pity She’s a Whore” A mat and a door, a matador not a toreador Shalimar You arte gonna be a big star You are gonna go far You’re never gonna die Riding the the stainless steel Jeff Koons, Jim Beam train They are all so Matadorable No Koons for many moons? A Donkeynado is what you get When a huge sudden storm cannot get itself together properly with an animal in a dream And when Donkeys fly they are far more lethal than sharks There is a mule which has an island in the Southern chain off of and which is part of the State of Florida, Don Key Donkey Donuts! Ha ha ha Ha ha! Giuseppe Veneziano, Do you think that he is speaking English Veneziano, do you think that he has been speaking English all along? In a pay-phone museum or some semblance of such A round with interior chrome strip paneling, in lieu of wallpaper of course An exhibition of late coin fed devices of all the same make Interspersed with metallic painted on photographs by Kenny Scharf which look all the more like Andy Warhols Copies of copies of copies Straight ahead Sturtevant, Peter Stuyvesant was the last Director General of New Amsterdam But Sturtevant was not the final Empress of scam Split Rocker/Split Racker A Split Racker.s color transition right down the center of their brazier Botero bronzes, fat cigars and pietas “if you can’t take a joke you can the fuck out of my house” and what kind of house is it anyway, been kicked out of a few? and what is the joke? You know we are all going to build our own homes anyway you know that and write our jokes…. And because of deflation play ball like you are going to perform defellatio at the Boston Tea Party Allover Tom Brady’s backside 10365975_867995323233103_2795329156015484921_n

Not coming soon more Jeff Koons

I wanted to ride in his hot air balloon

when there is nothing else to do

you can count on me to swoon

when I am in the room with Mr. Koons

and if I had enough Swiss Francs he would be designing my tomb

I  copy therefore I am

lost in a sea  of  transmissions

Cannot regroup to see work from the Zero Group

Poop snoop loop de loop

ISIS crisis human sacrifices

terrorists who follow conceptual art

Beasts who work in the tradition of the late Chris Burden

Costumed , caged doused, set ablaze, burnt alive

Bulldozed, buried and resurrected as propaganda

If the Whitney Biennial

should give way

to the New Museum Triennial

Somebody shall offer up another Quadrennial

or some other multiple of a perennial

I now reopen this poem to rip a whole in the heart and the soul

of all my fans from Norway

I am tired of so called good art it is time to embrace BAD ART it is so much more honest

I want to drive around and make bad art fart on find me the next Chase Utley branch Jenny is a Hoser we at least we think she is not a Hoosier big name bad art

New old characters enter the poem
Demetria Daniels
Walter Robinson
Jamie Dalglish
Glenn O’Brien
and Mark Kostabi
We are all there for the
Mark Kostabi Show
First called the Mark Kostabi after having been titled
Name that painting
And Title This
The game show keeps going on and I am a panelist with Robinson and O’Brien and I have not been a panelist for a very long time but my co/panelists will not talk to me though they will talk to Demetria so soon the make small talk in the confluence with me
Soon as we are naming paintings I tell Kostabi that he is stultifying and about to tell him the same his paintings which he does not do himself and I am about to just say they are bad but being that this is not situationally correct I do not and soon the dream ends

I dream there a picture of me featured in a glass cabinet display at a retrospective exhibition on Willoughby Sharp at the Metropolitan Museum of Art

I enjoy getting mad at bad art.. Christopher Wool is like Donald Trump he doesn’t mean a thing that he is saying but he going to stare into space looking off from a white room with a cube hanging overhead… suppose if I do this if doing this will get me this effect and everybody is going to buy it then I will be that.. And if you can’t take a joke you can the bleep out of this reply

Well how to be a stand up comedian until you cannot stand it no more

standing around or standing your ground going around waiting for one liners

and delivering the one liners schtick with zip until comedy becomes rhapsody?

becomes the painting on the wall  which you can sometimes make disappear

did you hear the one about the nurse about the doctor about the Rabbi

about the African American guy about the Jew about the art critic

well it was all quite funny quite punny  now back to the punch line into  the heart of the punch bowl of an emotion traveling down the smoldering pelvic bone

back when one was going to say no shit Shalom

whether it is megapriced crap or bullshit wishing  that it was so expensive to purchase

there are not enough wheelbarrows or space to pile it into

but sometimes one rise and perhaps I am continuing to misread the whole thing

tour guides love exhibitions at the Museum of Group Sex

maybe I will get on a Tom Sachs Space capsule launch and venture far far away

from Blah! Blah ! Blah!

a Jeff Koons fiberglass pooch falls over crsmashes at the Miami Design fair a downward downside dog a downward downside dogward going joke

It was  a smash hit

How about an article about the top ten art objects to be dropped from the top of a building by David Letterman , back when he still was dropping things

Stand up for stand up comedians and for stand up comedy and then sit down because the bus in motion, there are things happening of such great proportions like that Don Pickles is gone Priscilla Presley Presley Priscilla Presley Gerber the murders in Manila
Phyllis Barry Thriller Diller

Pillow penny exhibits in the pup Palazzo pandering Tort politicians potentially a wrist risk arrest but not to Rick’s arrest a rest is needed after after pandering to pull the pity potentially you will not pull out fastened to the Palazzo pill a Pity exhibits in the Palazzo pandering to bility is potentially a risk you risking arrest but not to risk arrest the rest is needed after pandering to the lady potentially you and I’ll pull out fastened to the Palazzo pull up pretty exhibits in the Palazzo pandering to Billy it potentially risky whisky rest but not to risk arrest is needed after pandering to the lady potentially you and I pull out fastened to the Palazzo pull up pretty exhibits in the Palazzo pandering to Billy and potentially risky whisky pandering to the lady potentially you and I pull out fastened to the potentially potentially potentially risky whisky

Pilopotti Rist at the Palazzo Pitti

Make it Hirst so good, Make Hirst so bad

Lets make a lot of money and have some fun in tbe sunny with Peter Tunney
Great attitude – “GRATTITUDE”

Yes honey bunny lets make a ton of Tunney money and then go hangout with the Tunney Bunnys

Its so sunny I can see all of the money and I can see all the Tunneys

Elephants can dance

I have nothing else to do so I find myself prostrate before the neon vagina

Light up the neon vagina over and over again because the truth always happens over and over and over again

Gay pastry says the docent the tour guide the lecturer leading the group through the exhibition of early 20th century avant garde art possibly dada possibly surreal his pronunciation is corrected by the dreamer more that once and the wording is really heading for gateau or off into @ #gaypastry  or just French gateaux made by a patissier whose name starts with a G a late famous French Patissier- Gaston Lenoitre and his English Wikipedia page to be

Blah ! Blah! Blah! Oh the Blahssabilities

Never loose tbe ability to say Blah Blah!

Blah … Blah  blah blah blah blah blah … la la la la la blah blah blah all tbe live long day

Its not real dough its play doh but you can’t pay with play doh though this play doh is so full of dough you can pay for play doh with real dough or a bit of play dough and buy some more play dough to play with which is more dough then you know to dough with

Can I build the rings garound your shithole? Holy shit its the shithole
A holy shit-Holy cow moment! for all ages for the ages for the local newspaper pages for the blog pages hell its contagious holy shithole once just a hole to shit in now its a Presidential statement an obstacle in the way of a potential tax abatement Holy Shit Shalom!46440285_287305698657339_5773218335462260736_o

Nonsense you cannot become Rauschenberg by erasing Banksy who is not DeKooning
but what does it matter if this is the end of the world what overpriced works do you find the moon in them or just wonderful works you find the moon in
Calder is hanging down from the ceiling the roof it is descending from carry that $17,500,000 weight… run dog run wool is back pulling the wool over our eyes has been pulled down over our eyes I feel like pornographer again what is obscene if I can capture it can I then capture what is beautiful so hungry big puffy down in for the winter self encapsulating dream suitmy updated super Art-world epic featuring new words on Shalom Neuman, Ron English , and Banksy. 45091299_10156347438978124_259310450087297024_oheavy heavy thought into the the enclosure recombinant icons mixed up again to come up something spit back at us add to the vocabulary be cited as such by the right interests and ne heavily rewarded playing poker joker joker joker don’t be smoker poke me with the hot poker

Better to Brainwash then to whitewash

If you can’t take a joke you can get the bleep out of this post
But if you can, well, I guess you have just shoplifted

You can’t play ketchup with Andy
Because he plays ketchup from beyond the grave…

He gave everybody fifteen minutes and in return he gained an eternity

If you can’t make Djokovic then get the fuck off the court
If you can’t make a a joke of it get the hell away from this blog

Blah Blah Black Sheep
Shepard Smith leaves Fox

That was a Guggenheim thing it was later stolen from Blenheim Palace where it was connected into the plumbing as an installation and it’s sudden removal caused a flood.. Take that Duchamp take that Robert Gober Take that Mike Bidlo take my Maurizio Cattelan please!

Lucy Sparrow felt like it

An artist in all washed up rehab does a sculpture of reindeer in chopped liver to represent being left out on Christmas and walking inti this quorum two famous women with very curly hair much attention paid to it in creating the coiffures but it is all seemingly so nonchalant ignore me when I say hello and one was Rachel Feinstein the artist not the comedian but perhaps the duo included both

You know for anybody who has been paying any attention this should really come as no suprise. You are not paying $120,000 for an ephemeral object which can be redone in perpetuity but for the right to begin a new
money laundering thread.. This is just a smaller version of $90 million dollar balloon dogs and stainless steel bunny rabbits. Does this apeal to you£ than the language itself is corrupted by the endless bad jokes about the hanging berry. Schtick humour needs somewhere to go and if all the Richard Prince canvases are already taken the fruit and vegetable aisle might not be. Stick it in some flavored bacteria this is Banana culture. Time for some fun. Calling Carmen Miranda
But what a fruitful experience everybody going bananas the hungry artist who ate the thing was clearly not a starving one Datuna ate DaBanana now they have to name the Beach City after him Datuna Beach, Florida and the famed auto race tbe Datuna 500 he ate his way into 15 minutes and  perhaps  into fortune and fame  “are you kidding?… asked the gallery direct clearly it was not

DaFishernan ate Datuna ..DaTuna Ate Dabanana

Baby Shark ate Datuna … Datuna ate DaBanana

you know the first President of Zimbabwe was Canaan Banana the Rev. Canaan Banana they say the British Foriegn Secretary Lord Carrington was very happy with it because it rendered the new nation a banana republic and then in 1982 they made a law whereby it was a crime to make fun of the president’s name but then years later the Reverand Banana got arrested for drugging and assaulting his bodyguard among many others and one headline read “man raped by banana

==Book 2==

Driving down Rouault 66

Past the Milton Avery which just may contain the lost play from the play Art Criticism in the Birds to wind up in conversation with the long gone Queen Mother Bowles-Lyon amidst work including a video narration piece of an audio track of Bill Crosby tryingy to tell her of what. – that it was about  the once hypnotic power of his voice but she will have none of it and will only speak about what she knows of him as a person in a positive lightt howeverfirst-rolls-royce-drift-car-is-a-silver-shadow-raced-by-boyzone-s-shane-lynch_1t this was years ago.  Meanwhile I have one of tbe toyal red and maroon milutary hats the colors of Andrew Parker Bowles household horse regiment uniform painted without the chapeau after his military retirement by Lucien Freud2D0F0DC100000578-0-image-m-30_1443912918772The Art market doesn’t give a shit

The Stock Market doesn’r give a shit

The President of the United States doesn’t give a shit

The ninety – hundred million dollar Jeff Koons Rabbit koons_rabbit_2

Everybofy grab it

Are you  dreaming less?

Now that it all seems so meaningless?

Soft or hardcore fetish in the round

Heavenly Bodies the Catholic Re–ImaginAtion everything ordained here

Then the artist Neuman Shalom

Declared one of his homes The Shalom Autinomous Zone  thought  he should be like Liberace just go with one name for you are SHALOM… And in a Shalom Autonomous Zone We are all Shalom

Wish steve Cannon were here to hear this part of this poem

Dreaming racing silver shadows up to and above 400 nph

Blazes of white, silver and black whipping up winds

Then a single earing half a pair is found sterlung silver platinum ruby and diamond encrusted by Tiffanys  it is picked up and eaten by its actual visionary like a crunch candy; does it crack teeth in this hunger for luster?

He; she, they, them, it, we, him; in the war against pronouns not between those , there will be none of that –  in wood block sculptures  and cutouts deep into physical dictionaries which preceded one but now  the  whole worldwide online  encylopedia in its most disseminated toungue is  printed out and shall fall down upon  you long before the Leaning Tower of Pisa’s prolongingly delayed collapse

And  shall you be remembered in it by the man’s name you chose

I think ill do a Beckett like play starring he she we it they and them who will also be billed as the ensemble known as those


==All out fetish==

A building taking another building from behind and inside

A sadistic editor riding master87503705_10158257557563578_3336850552863588352_o

A beautiful  Jagger like radiant young Scandinavian artist in latex a smiling play unicorn886540_10151344883436301_2053555005_o

And another fetieh flotation pleasure steams by

June 9, 2014