Archive for June, 2014

Chris Christie leaving Yankee stadium after the Boomer Esiason celEbrity benefit baseball game

June 30, 2014
Christie walking towards his car

Christie walking towards his car

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Blah Blah Blah If You cannot Take a Joke

June 17, 2014

photo If you can’t take a joke you can get the bleep out of this blog it was an echo, which was not originating with you rather, it was emanating from behind Vacuous double entendres are a triple threat Here comes Ichabod Cranium Black ink ketchup allover the Marlboro Man who is now being dissected by Dr. Ruth as Jazz fusion with an Eastern European twist is played to cheap white wine drinkers at a converted IHOP I know my poetry my rhyme But I am an asshole Grown strong through terrifying moments of interdependence Happenstance, is not always a lap dance Clans of Rymans rhyming with Luc Tymans If we need one liners rewritten We can just depend on the arrest of Paul Simon This is the way this goes downtown Now I am not going to catch my breath to take a Cigarette, take a pan au chocolate at Paris baguette One should never forget that before there was GAGA There was the fashion and art orchid we like to call Colette but if you cannot take a Joke you can get the Fuck out of this blog I am not pulling the wool over anybody’s eyes But by now one would surmise that aesthetic morticians had franchised multiple alibis not limited to but including the sunrise You cannot say certain names this is just a game There is no one to blame But if you can’t take a joke you can get the Fuck out of this blog A run at the mill where released was a gleaming one hundred million dollar plus diamond encrusted skull A thirst for Hirst and Hirst things first Hirst things comes first and Hirst thinks first unitl something or someone or other goes bust or super yachts burst Are you going to take the fizz out of my piece of shit Was not the art of explanation re-mastered by some erstwhile corkscrew twisted Brit I am all for it But if you Cannot take a joke you can get the Fuck out this blog BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! painted the painter painted the painted on scrolls grates and canvas Blah blah blah said the poet blah blah blah collected the collector bah bah bah said not the polyresinous sheep herded into the auction house bah bah bah said the alcoholic lamb grazing guzzling fat check nuzzling Blah blah blah blogged the blogger If you can’t take a joke you can get the fuck out of my house and whose house is it anyway? And you can’t take it with you You think that you are friends with Chris Christie but you get the handcuffs He is a ham and that is why he became a proscuittocuter to begin with What’s your ping to that pong? Was it just vacuous non vacuuming vacuum cleaners All lit up and starring in the instillation he is such a great guy you don’t want to say anything not nice about him (or his work) no not him yes he is a jerk but if it all leaves you cold you are still going to grow old so do what your told or for you there will be no gold you cannot take it with you, giant balloon dogs wallpaper art virtual reality in the round amateur pornography a Titan’s iconography door to door debauchery vanity art on the selling floor sorcery

Play doh by Koons

Play doh by Koons

I want to punch back From inside of the punch-lines after reading the headlines while beating all deadlines BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! cannot be copied BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! CANNOT BE COPIED BLAH! BLAH! BLAH! http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-XhM5estgsAM/UOMCQS2EycI/AAAAAAAAAgQ/s3SVF-ZwctA/s400/072.JPG Voluptuous Perignon Phallic Gallic Voluminous Perpignan He did it on porpoise She did it on a porpoise

He did it on porpoise She did it on a porpoise

He did it on porpoise
She did it on a porpoise

After all chasing around with the shark in the shark cage is nothing compared to the sharks who are sharking out here after all we have to save the dolphins with porpoise and all the porpoises ostensibly otherwise tensabarriers, weighted overhang bars, diving armor, spear-guns and becoming a submerged trophy hunter will never be enough to fight off thin linen wearing money men trading commodity in the form of abstract conception baby! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dswPW78FYBI inflatables are debatable Sandwiched in with what is non-equitable On the Road looking to find the next big bad art piece to get all upset over Schmutz: I say it is Schmutz! Schmutz, Schmutz, Schmutzie goodbye! Not since the advent of the first mixture of cream cheese with jelly! Not since the invention of cream cheese and jealousy! Its a tour speech in a garden which cannot be heard on the closed circuit microphone out amongst the surrounding flowers; tiger lilies or orange orchids but you go out to talk to Joan Rivers who is there all dressed up in black and white and that old comic killer Phyllis Diller and the artist Collette who would be emblematic of the blossom on many a night Thats because engine roaring i was motorcycling through a ring of fire in a previous stanza which disappeared to come back blazing within burning cliche language appropriated by plastic artists to exclaim a new proclamation on a variation of the very same thing Welcome to an art world or a world of art already filled with ready made victims and some victimizers ready with ready-mades or ready to make ready-mades Everybody ready, gentlemen start your search engines Inside the proverbial Trojan Horse A Chia Don’t kick a gift mount in the mouth Except that he is not my steed, Fetish objects, Are there any objections, to a fetish for objects insatiable for inflatables Goo-goo for marbles I will give you all the muster I can muster for luster and then I will give you some bluster Is there anything wrong with some solace with a fetish before committing a major crime? Object lessons in objectification Subject lessons in subjectification Where the subjects are subjects Subjectify my lust It all started with a plump posterior a round ass out in the suburbs whose curvatures would have been as if a dangerous road looking to handle turned around becomes an invitation to please You blindsided me with schmutz, Toots! Here comes the Rabbi, there came the Rabbi Back when it was even better than the real thing And years later he wanted to know Why Koons had to be so self-effeminizing But the congreagants purchased him a Pousette-Dart I should not have blown the way I did at you misdirecting rocket fire onto you from Gaza But then you got me with your words like we as if we had shared some long drunken evening @ the Plaza—- And now I am allover schmutz heralding some false biennialist Just because I got pissed and you had to find some way to take advantage of it Gem warfare its a Baby Jane Holdup  I am happy to be offended Out of shape bended To make sure that the never ending Has never really ended Dead vacuum cleaners play docents Save your life raft A slap from 100 percent pure crap One hundred percent pure crip one hundred percent pure blood the inflatables, the incredibles the never ending never endables If I can buy a visual spoof for 25 million and sell for 35 I am certainly game but if I get stuck with the lark there will certainly be someone else to blame Jeff loony Koons Claes Oldenburg and Coosie Von Bruggen’s looming spoon Balloon scriptures Another looming Koons My eyes lost in a sea of objects laid upon the sparking golden lame mardi gras tablecloth: lobster shell crackers, water glasses, antipasto platters, water glasses and so on and so forth Skull and balloons The sacred heart of Jesus The Sacred Heart which believes in us Yeezus! They’ll tell someone else to ban you from the house but still take you for a drink at the bar inside of it downstairs The ever changing face of commodities and their transfers therein In a pawn shop I have lots to offer for sale but gold coins turn to chocolate and get eaten so the only thing the house wants is the the endoscopy video screen and cam for which they are willing to pay $375 And in expecting this dreamer experienced subdued joy But when the recompense arrives it is but a single hundred dollar bill and ten tickeTS for a big bus lines double decker tour in London, England to which there are mot plans for me to fly-Ali Blah blah blah! It is the only problem I know of where the solution is ignorance Book 2: What Matadors to you does not necessarily Matador to me Afrozen, a portrait artist says that you are fat and attempts to flip a commission Stop eating the Italian bread Or rainbow cookies in its stead Universal slut What that Matador was out the door Before David Bowie released the video for “Pity She’s a Whore” A mat and a door, a matador not a toreador Shalimar You arte gonna be a big star You are gonna go far You’re never gonna die Riding the the stainless steel Jeff Koons, Jim Beam train They are all so Matadorable No Koons for many moons? A Donkeynado is what you get When a huge sudden storm cannot get itself together properly with an animal in a dream And when Donkeys fly they are far more lethal than sharks There is a mule which has an island in the Southern chain off of and which is part of the State of Florida, Don Key Donkey Donuts! Ha ha ha Ha ha! Giuseppe Veneziano, Do you think tha the is speaking English Veneziano, do you think that he has been speaking English all along? In a pay-phone museum or some semblance of such A round with interior chrome strip paneling, in lieu of wallpaper of course An exhibition of late coin fed devices of all the same make Interspersed with metallic painted on photographs by Kenny Scharf which look all the more like Andy Warhols Copies of copies of copies Straight ahead Sturtevant, Peter Stuyvesant was the last Director General of New Amsterdam But Sturtevant was not the final Empress of scam Split Rocker/Split Racker A Split Racker.s color transition right down the center of their brazier Botero bronzes, fat cigars and pietas “if you can’t take a joke you can the fuck out of my house” and what kind of house is it anyway, been kicked out of a few? and what is the joke? You know we are all going to build our own homes anyway you know that and write our jokes…. And because of deflation play ball like you are going to perform defellatio at the Boston Tea Party Allover Tom Brady’s backside 10365975_867995323233103_2795329156015484921_n

Not coming soon more Jeff Koons

I wanted to ride in his hot air balloon

when there is nothing else to do

you can count on me to swoon

when I am in the room with Mr. Koons

and if I had enough Swiss Francs he would be designing my tomb

I  copy therefore I am

lost in a sea  of  transmissions

Cannot regroup to see work from the Zero Group

Poop snoop loop de loop

ISIS crisis human sacrifices

terrorists who follow conceptual art

Beasts who work in the tradition of the late Chris Burden

Costumed , caged doused, set ablaze, burnt alive

Bulldozed, buried and resurrected as propaganda

If the Whitney Biennial

should give way

to the New Museum Triennial

Somebody shall offer up another Quadrennial

or some other multiple of a perennial

I now reopen this poem to rip a whole in the heart and the soul

of all my fans from Norway

I am tired of so called good art it is time to embrace BAD ART it is so much more honest

I want to drive around and make bad art fart on find me the next Chase Utley branch Jenny is a Hoser we at least we think she is not a Hoosier big name bad art

New old characters enter the poem
Demetria Daniels
Walter Robinson
Jamie Dalglish
Glenn O’Brien
and Mark Kostabi
We are all there for the
Mark Kostabi Show
First called the Mark Kostabi after having been titled
Name that painting
And Title This
The game show keeps going on and I am a panelist with Robinson and O’Brien and I have not been a panelist for a very long time but my co/panelists will not talk to me though they will talk to Demetria so soon the make small talk in the confluence with me
Soon as we are naming paintings I tell Kostabi that he is stultifying and about to tell him the same his paintings which he does not do himself and I am about to just say they are bad but being that this is not situationally correct I do not and soon the dream ends

I dream there a picture of me featured in a glass cabinet display at a retrospective exhibition on Willoughby Sharp at the Metropolitan Museum of Art

I enjoy getting mad at bad art.. Christopher Wool is like Donald Trump he doesn’t mean a thing that he is saying but he going to stare into space looking off from a white room with a cube hanging overhead… suppose if I do this if doing this will get me this effect and everybody is going to buy it then I will be that.. And if you can’t take a joke you can the bleep out of this reply

Well how to be a stand up comedian until you cannot stand it no more

standing around or standing your ground going around waiting for one liners

and delivering the one liners schtick with zip until comedy becomes rhapsody?

becomes the painting on the wall  which you can sometimes make disappear

did you hear the one about the nurse about the doctor about the Rabbi

about the African American guy about the Jew about the art critic

well it was all quite funny quite punny  nowback to the punch line into  the heart of the punch bowl of an emotion traveling down the smoldering pelvic bone

back when one was going to say no shit Shalom

whether it is megapriced crap or bullshit wishing  that it was so expensive to purchase

there are not enough wheelbarrows or space to pile it into

but sometimes one rise and perhaps I am continuing to misread the whole thing

tour guides love exhibitions at the Museum of Group Sex

maybe I will get on a Tom Sachs Space capsule launch and venture far far away

from Blah! Blah ! Blah!

a Jeff Koons fiberglass pooch falls over crsmashes at the Miami Design fair a downward downside dog a downward downside dogward going joke

It was  a smash hit

How about an article about the top ten art objects to be dropped from the top of a building by David Letterman , back when he still was dropping things

Stand up for stand up comedians and for stand up comedy and then sit down because the bus in motion, there are things happening of such great proportions like that Don Pickles is gone Priscilla Presley Presley Priscilla Presley Gerber the murders in Manila
Phyllis Barry Thriller Diller

Pillow penny exhibits in the pup Palazzo pandering Toopy politi it’s potentially a wrist risk arrest but not to Rick’s arrest a rest is needed after after pandering to pull the pity potentially you will not pull out fastened to the Palazzo pill a Pity exhibits in the Palazzo pandering to bility is potentially a risk you risking arrest but not to risk arrest the rest is needed after pandering to the lady potentially you and I’ll pull out fastened to the Palazzo pull up pretty exhibits in the Palazzo pandering to Billy it potentially risky whisky rest but not to risk arrest is needed after pandering to the lady potentially you and I pull out fastened to the Palazzo pull up pretty exhibits in the Palazzo pandering to Billy and potentially risky whisky pandering to the lady potentially you and I pull out fastened to the potentially potentially potentially risky whisky

Pilopotti Rist at the Palazzo Pitti

Make it Hirst so good, Make Hirst so bad

 

 

 

NOMOTOWN

June 9, 2014

As Detroit gets Knocked down, NOMOTOWN

Ain’t no building high enough

Ain’t no excavation low enough

To keep me away from Mo